Keep good company

Posted on April 5, 2012 by

Hey there dads! I had a thought today that made me realize that you might want to hear about. I keep good company.

Huh?

Well, generally I have friends that are decent people. But more specifically, I have friends who are not only good for me, but their style of parenting is good for my kids and me.

Just today my youngest, the Hobbit, started playing a demo game on our Xbox 360. Not a problem, most of the time. But the game he was playing only allows for Xbox Live, online play, within the demo. This is a no, no. So I figured it out and explained why I don’t want him playing games on Xbox Live. Once he clearly understood he said, “Yes dad.”

What makes that so cool is two parts. The first being that we really have never taught the kids to have a common response to any various form of a command from us; (ie. “Yes sir”, etc.) There’s nothing wrong with it, and it is kinda refreshing to hear other kids say that to their parents. But I’ve been more of a your-actions-demonstrate-your-obedience kinda dad.

The second part of this that is so cool is that this phrase is the exact kind of phrase that my friend Paul’s kids say to him. They do have their boys respond with a common phrase, expressing that they understand and intend to obey. It’s great.

The catch is that the Hobbit has actually picked it up from his next oldest brother, Freckles. Freckles picked it up by spending time with Paul’s youngest.

Paul

Paul

So, keep good company, and you might be rewarded with their good habits rubbing off on you…or your kids!

Posted in Practical, teacher | Leave a comment

“Cut the Cheese: 5 Tips for Photographing Kids”

Posted on April 2, 2012 by

Check out this very helpful article helping you make better photos of your kids!

Cut the Cheese: 5 Tips for Photographing Kids.

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You can run, but you can’t hide!

Posted on March 24, 2012 by

Yeah, yeah, I went and did some fancy moves with the URL. Sorry.

I just got so sick and tired of all those dirtbag spammer/hackers jacking with my code.

“Wait, what?” If you’re asking that question, don’t worry. The website’s home, at ViaPaterna.com has been under attack by low-life hackers, and I just got tired of it. So I moved the site to ViaPaterna.WordPress.com. In a few weeks I’m going to have the original URL mapped to the new one. (Which just means that it’ll all theoretically go back to the way it was. Sorta.)

Anyway, if you’re subscribed, you won’t really even care about this change. If you’re not, then you probably were “rolled” here by typing in the original URL.

Posted in Trevor | 1 Comment

Ugh! Where is that kid's dad?

Posted on February 12, 2012 by

Dads, I want to hit briefly on a subject that is near and dear to my heart…

Your kids’ behavior.

Look, you are not their pal. You are not their friend. You are their dad, their father. Nowhere are you called to be concerned about being their buddy. But you are called to raise them into adults that are wholesome and balanced.

What many dads don’t realize is that when they are first a “father”, and they embody the kind of leader and mentor that their kids yearn for, they’ll naturally become close and bonded, like a friend; but so much more than just a friend.

When you’re in public, don’t be a coward and not engage your kids’ bad behavior. That just makes me think that you’re too worried about what others think. If your kid is running up and down the aisles at the store, or worse, during the church service, BE A MAN, and intercede to stop the uncontrolled behavior. A man doesn’t wait for his wife to handle it; he takes initiative and engages the problem.

In the moment might not be the best time to instruct or counsel your kid about the wrong behavior, but you still should put a stop to it.

C’mon guys, be men!

Posted in Practical, toughness | Leave a comment

Dad, it starts and ends with you

Posted on September 26, 2011 by

Hey there brothers, do you ever wonder how a father can flip an imaginary switch and get his children to tell the truth?

Maybe you’ve seen it in the neighborhood kids, or a friend’s kids, or maybe your own. The child is told to do something, often quite clearly, but then completely disregards the instruction. Zero obedience.

Why do these situations happen? Why do they think that obedience is not for them? Why do they lie so easily?

I’ll tell you why. It’s because you haven’t convinced them that you’re a safe place to be humble, while at the same time you haven’t convinced them that you’ll give them an appropriate consequence for disobeying.

Dad, it starts and ends with you.

This is really an issue of balance. When your children disobey, and you fail to effectively discipline them, you’ve taught them another lesson. You’ve taught them that you’re too lazy to get up and deal with their disobedience. You’ve taught them that your words have little, if any, value. Your actions have said, “I don’t love you enough to teach you to obey.”

But if you go overboard, and use the wrong level of discipline, then you’re teaching another lesson, especially if you discipline in anger. I make it no secret that I believe that spanking has an appropriate place in disciplining children. Even if you disagree with me, you can agree that there are times when a higher level of discipline is too much for a lesser situation.

I’m going to continue to stay clear of setting out rules or even suggestions for what level is best for a given situation. I want each father to love and care for their children enough to learn them and seek to make wise decisions. I love my kids enough to know what works for each of them; and that’s quite different for each.

Have you had those experiences where you disciplined too much for the situation? How about too little? We know, almost immediately, when those times happen. What did you do to fix the situation? If you overstepped, did you seek forgiveness? Did you humble yourself before your kid and tell them that you were sorry?

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Document the whole thing!

Posted on September 23, 2011 by

Hey there dads, I want to share one very simple thing that has helped me become more involved in my kids lives. Make more photographs.

That’s it! Seriously, I started taking photography more seriously a few years ago, and it’s opened a number of opportunities for me as a dad. But you don’t have to be an amateur photog for this to work. It started off with me wanting to be able to take better photos of the family. But eventually I wanted to take great photos of them in great places. And that lead to us planning more unique and fun activities with the kids.

So I’ll encourage you to consider picking up the camera you probably already have, and learning how to use all its features. Just get the manual out, and play around with it a bit. Maybe head out into the backyard and photograph the kids playing, just to tes it all out.

When you’re ready for the next step, I can’t recommend the Digital Photography School enough! It’s not as scary as it sounds, it’s basically a professional blog geared towards helping you improve your photo skills. In fact, a recent ebook published by dPS, called Click: How to Take Gorgeous Photos of Your Kids would really hit the spot!

Confession: I’m pushing this ebook on you because I’m an affiliate. Don’t sweat it though, the content really is that good! I’d say that content in one form or another from dPS has been one of the primary influences in my own growth as a photographer over the past half decade.

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Animal House

Posted on September 23, 2011 by

OK dads, did you have a busy week, or even worse? Have you been too busy to have a little fun with your kids? Well I have a quick game you can play with them. Very little cost, and the prep time is even more of the fun.

Get yourself some 3×5 cards and anything to draw and color with. The more kids you have, the better! Pass out an equal number of cards to each child. Have them draw and color a different animal on each card. To keep the older, smarter ones from taking the easy way out, make them color the entire card. No words allowed, BTW.

Collect all the cards and shuffle them around.

Line up the kids in a location where they have enough room for the next step. Now when you draw a card, all the kids must act out whatever animal they see on the card.

That’s it!

Now, for you mentoring dads, or you dads who seek to have the kind of home that all the neighborhood kids love to visit, include other kids too!

Posted in 15 Essentials, featured, plays, post, Practical | 2 Comments